A recent survey conducted by Only-You and Bienarae between March 3–8 gathered responses from 608 divorced men and women (304 each) who are seeking remarriage. The study explored which first impressions make potential partners seem unattractive.
Male respondents
- Broad, stocky body type – 35.2%
- Thin or underdeveloped body type – 26.6%
- Small stature – 18.1%
- Older-looking appearance – 13.2%
Female respondents
- Small stature in men – 34.2%
- Appearing lethargic – 25.0%
- Older-looking appearance – 20.7%
- Thin or underdeveloped body type – 14.2%
When it comes to behaviors that reduce attraction during a blind date, both genders agreed that breaking promises was the biggest turn-off (men 30.3%, women 29.3%). The second most disliked behavior was asking excessive questions beforehand (men 28.3%, women 32.9%). Other negative behaviors included insisting on choosing the meeting place (men 24.3%, women 23.0%) and poor communication (men 17.1%, women 14.8%).
Interestingly, perceptions of appropriate attire also differed: men preferred dressing at a level similar to going to work (31.3%), while women leaned toward attire suitable for attending a friend’s wedding (35.2%).
Jed’s Commentary
One of the things that struck me most after reading this survey was the realization that people rarely change. Even after experiencing the failure of a first marriage, many divorced men and women still prioritize physical appearance over values, lifestyle, or compatibility when considering remarriage.
This made me think: if appearance continues to dominate their criteria, perhaps some of these individuals are destined to face a second or even third divorce.
What’s more, the way this survey was reported across multiple newspapers felt repetitive, almost like copy‑and‑paste journalism. And when I looked at the comments, the situation seemed even more discouraging.
Most of the responses boiled down to two points:
“Of course appearance matters. Even in a second marriage, you can’t ignore looks.”
“If not appearance, then money. One of the two must be fulfilled for marriage to happen.”
To me, this reflects a deeper issue in Korean marriages: they often remain at a surface level. This obsession with appearances or material conditions contributes to widespread infidelity among both men and women, and inevitably fuels Korea’s high divorce rate.
What’s truly revealing is that divorced individuals—despite having gone through the pain of a failed marriage—show little change in their attitudes. The survey results make it clear: the same priorities that led to failure the first time are still firmly in place.
In short, Korea remains a society where appearance reigns supreme, and people rarely change. Sometimes, I find myself grateful that I am not living in Korea with a Korean spouse.
